Distressed as an upside down cockroach

Road sign to GRU airport(Para ler este post em Português: Mais angustiada que barata de ponta cabeça)

It’s not easy to explain how I feel right now. I’m inside the plane flying above the Atlantic half distance to Lisbon, still 2,030 miles to roam.
It’s 2:54AM in Sao Paulo and 5:54AM in my destiny.  And I can’t sleep.

I’ve mixed feelings. I’m SAD because I won’t see familiar faces for the next 12 months (except for those few who I plan to meet somewhere during the trip), I’m HAPPY cause I’ll spend a WHOLE YEAR NOT WORKING, I’m WORRIED trying to figure out how to fill the days of an entire year without working, I’m PROUD I’m here now, I’m THRILLED about all the new people and cultures I’ll meet and places I’ll see – even though I really don’t know which places are that.

I’ve been wondering about how did I got into this trip… Tonight I’m feeling insecure and I’m not sure if it was a good idea. Why travel 40 thousand miles within one year, alone?? With one single suitcase?!? (Ok, I confess: I tried to pack all my stuff in a single bag, and I did it, but it got too heavy so I decided it would be better to split in two – I’m carrying only 88 lb of luggage!! How can a girl survive with less than that???)

What I was thinking?????
Why didn’t I split this monster itinerary in several short vacations along the years?
Now I’m not totally confident I can do it.

During the last month I have been so busy finishing my projects at work, burning back-up IMG_5874CDs, planning my two months in London, packing my stuff, saying goodbye to family and friends (not all of them unfortunately, dear folks from SP I’ll miss you so badly, I’m sorry I didn’t have time to hug you personally!), anyway, I’ve been so eventful that my brain was fooled and it didn’t have the time to analyze what I was about to do.

But lately I’ve received so many messages from friends supporting me and telling me how brave they think I am to go ahead with this trip (Do they really think I’m brave or that I’m nuts? Not sure…), some of them said they’re jealous, some said I have “the obligation” of enjoying every minute, and some just wished me good luck and sent me their best thoughts… Dear fellows you can’t imagine how much that meant to me!! For every good wish I receive I feel stronger and less panic.

Bless me mom, bless me dad.
Thank you very much!


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