In a piranha-infested river alligators swim backstroke

Living With Strangers

(Para ler este post em Português: Em rio que tem piranha jacaré nada de costas)

Living in a shared house can be quite odd. For the last 10 days I’ve been sharing my place with a German guy, two Asian girls from Singapore, and ‘some’ strange Indian guys (I don’t know exactly how many they are!).

Every single day the Indian guys spend daytime sleeping, they go out for partying when the sun goes down (sun?!? what sun???), they arrive back home after 1am with more friends and cook rice with curry. Then they lock themselves into their room and stay there cheering till morning…. The other night I was in the kitchen chatting with Kalle, the German guy, who is the only normal person here besides me (what’s normal anyway?? how pretentious I am!! heehee), when these guys arrived. Two of them stayed with us in the kitchen to cook their rice. I was drinking beer so I was in need to pee…

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I went upstairs to use the bathroom but it was busy – one of the Indians was taking a shower. The hall was smoky and there was a bland smell of tobacco in the air… Suddenly their room door opened and a small brown guy with the beard of Saddam Hussein appeared and asked me if I wanted to smoke some weed. Owwww!!! That’s too weird for me!!!! I rushed back to my room downstairs, locked the door and waited for almost one hour to try the bathroom again. When I got there I discovered that the shower guy had washed some of his clothes in the shower and left them hanging on the shower curtain rod… Including his underwear!!! Gaaaaaa!!!

Day in day out I need to clean the kitchen and sterilize the bathroom. It’s always the same: when I get back home I find a pile of dirty dishes, leftover food scattered everywhere, the kitchen towel dirty with some yellow stinky sauce, and because I don’t feel comfortably healthy cooking or eating in the middle of this mess I’m constantly cleaning the place. Actually I prefer doing all the work by myself cause I don’t trust the way they wash the dishes… The other day I bought a steak for my lunch and when I took the frying pan from the cabinet it was covered with oil residue!!! I can’t believe someone stores a frying pan in the cupboard without washing after using it!!!!

Three days ago I went to the kitchen to have my breakfast in the morning and the Asian girls were there. While one of them went upstairs to their room the other came to me saying that she needed to talk to me. I replied ‘ok, but do you mind if I eat my cereal while you talk?‘. She understood I was starving and agreed with my condition, then she closed the door and started saying that one of the Indian guys had tried to rape her on the night before… I said ‘Huh?!?!?!?!?‘ – so that she explained it better… She said she was alone in her bedroom when one of these guys entered, took a sit at her side and started chatting. She noticed that he was coming closer, but she got shocked and petrified in panic, and didn’t know how to react. Then (according to her) she finally felt her senses came back and asked him to leave. And he left. In short: nothing really happened. I told her to keep a safe distance from these guys and keep her door locked…

Then two days ago I lost my mind… Everyone knows I’m a sweet angel but sometimes I can get really angry… 😈 I don’t care when the Asian girls make noises or burp while they eat cause I know this is part of their culture… Now c’mon blow your nose in the kitchen sink is a little too much. I started yelling: “ok, enough is enough, I’m loosing my temper with you!! I can’t handle this situation anymore! Everything here is dirty and I’m fff* tired of cleaning your mess! Every time I get home I find the kitchen in a pitiful condition and also the bathroom is always filthy. Besides that I know you’re eating food that belongs to the others…” and so on… It was a quick performance cause they agreed with all my words… well, it worked. Ha.

Before these people there had been here also a young couple from Germany. They stayed in the house for 3 or 4 days and they never left the house, nor even their room! From times to times the guy appeared in the kitchen, got some food, just to go back to their room. Also during this period the toilet paper turned out… After they left Kalle explained this mystery to me: he told me that these lovebirds hadn’t seen each other for a long time and they had rented the room to use it as their love nest… So cute!! ❤

And of course there was also that 5 Indian guys who had stayed here for just one night and left a huge mess

It’s not always that bad. Here I met my good friend Jim from Spain – she is great and we’re still hanging out together, a young nice couple from France (the guy that drank all my scotch); Sahid from Afghanistan who works the night shift so we used to have coffee together at morning time; and Kalle (the ‘normal’ German guy) who’s just finished law school and is going to spend 3 months here for his internship program.

The Indians & Asians are gone now. But you never know who’s coming next…


7 thoughts on “In a piranha-infested river alligators swim backstroke”

  1. PQP!!!!!!!!!! Eu já estaria de volta em casa……….. Pra mim isso tudo é horripilante!!!!!!!!!! Fico extremamente incomodada só de “ouvir” você contar…… Bagunça dos outros já é ruim, mas porquice é realmente intolerável!!!!!!!!!!!!! Torço para que seus próximos vizinhos sejam pessoas melhores, ao menos mais limpinhas!!!!!!!!!!! Rss Bjsss

  2. Menina, vc realmente está sendo testada em TODOS os seus limites e tolerancias…. por muito menos eu jah teria, no minimo, mudado de casa……… realmente vc esta de parabens, por insistir em continuar a conviver com essa miscelanea……… a nata da sociedade……. viva o desapego, quebrando paradigmas!!!! saudades, e SE CUIDA ! bj, jenifer.

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